On and on because I'm so upset there is no other way for me to deal with it. I have to put it all down, to try and express my anger, frustration, sadness to someone.
sometimes i am accused of ranting when I'm not. I usually don't talk much so when I have a lot to say on one subject it gets taken the wrong way.
sometimes im just so stressed, and I realize that there is no viable solution to the problem I just shut down and can't say or write about anything
Sometimes you just know, nobody wants to hear it.
Sometimes my activity is so boring , tedious, hum-drum I figure, why bother.
Im here in Connecticut now. at my own desk, in my own office. I'd say the temp. is pleasant. Its a cool 56. The air is still. I hear birds, chirping here in the branches of the pear tree just outside my window, and those who are scrambling about inside the aluminum siding. There is a piece of aluminum missing on the corner of the house, on each corner, and the birds have colonized the inside between the old wood clapboards and the aluminum.
The western sky is dark, it's going to rain today.
There is so much to do here. The house is in total disrepair, the yard an overgrown and tangled mess. I can't remember the last time I washed windows. The old wallpaper that was painted over 20 times in the living room has been partly scraped and peeled off. And there is too much stuff. Too much in the leaky attic, too much in every room up here in the second floor apartment where I sleep and keep my computer, too much in the basement and the garage. And I can't make decisions about it since I don't consider most of it my stuff. Whatever, right?
I have a few chores, everyday chores to tend to. And then I'm going to assist Joanie, my elderly friend who has broken her arm. Marie and Lucien are going to South Meriden so ill hitch a ride over with them and hopefully walk back. Tomorrow I'm going to try and drive the truck to Kate's. Keith said it will "probably make it" .
I've got the sunny border garden and the front bed pulled up now. I left the roses. a couple peonies. and there are a couple of "root systems" that i haven't been able to dig up but will tackle after the rain stops in a few days. it should make it easier to pull out. I started to prune the Oak Leaf Hydrangea pretty hard. I like working in the garden. I also started in the terraces in the back with the clippers, cutting down the old leaves of the different iris, crocosmia, peonies, hostas, phlox and lilies. I ran out of daylight before i could rake them up.
I'm looking forward to seeing the little girls tomorrow. And hope to see the little boys soon too. They're all beautiful kids. With great parents. They're smart and happy too.
Well, the sun is peeking through the leaves, I can see it brightly reflecting off of the face of the factory down the street. Perfect light now to get out with the camera. I'll have to branch out and learn to take " city" photos now.
Almost Fall here...........I wait daily to see if the leaves have turned and i think i actually see a fading of the green to yellow on a few of them.
love and miss you
sally
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