I worked in the garden yesterday. October 9

It has really gotten out of hand.

Overgrown, tangled, " stringy" no that's not the word..................spindly, that's it, spindly.

The task might be futile since the dried out seed pods with their tiny miniature seeds spilling into the decaying leaves will replant everything next spring.

But , it's going. I'm keeping only my roses, the Hydrangeas which have grown into a semi-privacy hedge. I'll keep the Baptista and other shrubs. Even most of the iris' and peonies are being pulled not so gently out of the dirt. The dirt which was flying around and stirring up bugs. The air was swimming with them. Mosquitos, flies, fruit flies, hover flies, yellow jackets, all kinds of flying insects getting in my face and biting me and their tiny little wings reflecting sunlight , the air was twinkling. I found Lots of long fat night crawlers , just about everywhere I dug.

I can't take care of it. And Keith always hated it. He likes little flowers in rows. So, since he is pretty much disgusted with me, I'm trying to do one thing his way. And that is to get rid of the mess in the yard.

Things might be better if I had a job. Of course I have no way of getting to a job. The truck is unreliable, the engine needs a valve job for $2500. and he is NOT going to spend that kind of money. We're not getting along on any level. There is NO intimacy of any kind between us and hasn't been for over 20 years. I've gotten used to it and accepted it and he's not happy with it all of a sudden.

I'm going to move on here , before I start in on the rant.

I've got some kind of cold or something, sore throat, productive cough, fever. Now Brenna has it too. I probably won't be babysitting tomorrow, Kate is going to check with Paul. he might not want me around the girls.

So today, I'll straighten out my room, and get back down to the demolition job. Tearing out 30 years of planting and weeding and cultivating. Its a different season in my life. It's winter.